roesslyng: (Landscape - Aurora)
[personal profile] roesslyng
Title: Take a Chance on Me
Fandom: A Redtail's Dream
Characters/Pairing: Joona/Anssi
Rating: 18+
Length: 2.6k
Summary: They came out to look at the stars. Their plans changed a bit, but, well - the stars will always be there.
Other: Written for [community profile] pbam (amnesty round). Prompts, from stack #2: quiet, night, shooting star, campfire [Original post]

Take a Chance on Me

Anssi knew why Joona invited him to go camping.

At least, he thought he knew.

The simple fact that Hannu wasn't available was enough of a reason by itself. Those two were impossibly close; it was obvious that Hannu would be Joona's first choice. That was what Anssi had assumed, but he was grateful for the invitation anyway. He didn't mind coming in second.

In the night, looking up at the stars together, it didn't seem as simple as all that.

He'd long appreciated Joona's easygoing ways; his tendency to take things as they came, to not worry much, to find joy in everything. Joona went through life always finding something to laugh about.

This was the reason for at least part of the longing. The feelings that for a few years now Anssi had understood, acknowledged, and buried. There was no point in trying to make anything out of it, to try to do anything about it. It was –

It was better not to think about it.

He'd asked his aunt about it. Once. Åsa had given him a long, thoughtful look, and said, "Either do something about it, or don't. Pick one. That kind of thing will eat away at you if you dither on it."

So, in the end, he'd decided it was better to do nothing, and to say nothing.

But in the flickering firelight, Anssi let himself think about it. He let his gaze stray to Joona's face, watching for a moment as the warm light played over his cheeks. Then their eyes met, holding for a second.

Anssi hurried to look away, burying his attention in his thermos of coffee. Don't look, don't look, if you do look then he might know, even if you don't say a word.

But Joona didn't say anything about it. He just chuckled – did he know? – and tipped back his flask of something-or-other, and kept his eyes on the sky.

"Hey," he said, gesturing up at the stars. "Get a look at that."

And as the meteor shower that they had come out to watch streamed its way across the starry sky, Anssi looked up, and sucked in a breath.

He froze as a long arm snaked its way around his shoulders. Even for someone as friendly as Joona, that wasn't exactly typical.

But he didn't say anything, and he didn't shrug it off.

Does he know? The panicked thought circled around in Anssi's head. Does he know how I feel about –

This is ridiculous, he told himself, and after a moment he decided: If Joona did know, then it didn't matter, because it didn't bother him. And if he didn't know, then enjoying the time spent with him would be enough.

It was best to take things as they came, then.

Anssi took a deep breath.

"Could I have some of whatever you have there?"

As Joona passed the flask to him without a word, their fingers brushed, and it was all Anssi could do to hold onto it. He tipped it back and let the liquor slide down his throat, burning. Metal against his lips, metal that had touched Joona's mouth –

Don't be stupid, Anssi told himself.

He buried the thought and handed it back. As he glanced at Joona, he paused, hesitating.

Joona was looking at him, his eyes flickering with a warmth Anssi could not place. It wasn't only the way the firelight flickered against his face, though the effect of that was indeed nice. Anssi's lips parted to ask a question, but the words didn't come.

They didn't have to.

The touch of the fingertips under his chin was light. So was the kiss that Joona pressed to his mouth. And as Anssi tilted his head into it, and let Joona gently pull him closer, he pushed back the panic, and the nervousness, and embarrassment. He knows, Anssi thought, and felt his face flush scarlet.

Joona had known all along.

The stars were forgotten as he pushed Joona down, nudging him back onto the old blanket they had spread out underneath them. He cradled Joona's head, sinking his fingers into his long hair as he kissed him.

Joona laughed softly against his mouth and wrapped his long, skinny arms around Anssi's shoulders, his movements lazy and carefree, just like always.

He didn't seem to mind the weight of Anssi on top of him.

He didn't seem to mind anything else, either. And that was typical of Joona, but Anssi still found it a relief to feel Joona relaxing under him without a care in the world.

Anssi broke the kiss, lingering for a moment as he worked up the nerve to ask him something. Something that he desperately wanted to know.

"How far do you want to go?" He barely dared to say it. It felt like it was too early to say something like that, like he was taking too many chances with it. But he said it anyway, whispering soft words against Joona's cheek. He felt him take in a long, slow breath.

"As far as you want," Joona said, and he had that grin in his voice, the one Anssi liked so much.

As far as you want. Really? Anssi almost wanted to ask if he was sure about it. But even though Joona joked often, and a lot, about almost anything, he didn't sound like he was joking now, no matter how light-hearted his voice was.

"Okay," Anssi whispered. Then he kissed him again.

They completely forgot about the stars.

Anssi felt warm, and he knew exactly why. It wasn't the campfire, and it wasn't the summer air. It was Joona. He felt so good. He opened up easily under Anssi, ready for him, wrapping himself all around him. Oh, god. A million ideas flitted through Anssi's head as Joona opened his mouth for him, sucked on his tongue. If I'd known it would be like this, Anssi thought, I should've said something sooner, should have done something –

But no moment until now had ever felt right.

It didn't matter. They were here now, right?

He slid his tongue over Joona's lips and decided to stop thinking about it.

Anssi dipped his head and let the kisses travel down, down along Joona's bared throat. He had never done this with anyone, but he had read – a lot. Of novels. And stories. On the internet. So he had some ideas. A few, at least. The kind of ideas that had gone through his head at night, when he was alone, thinking of Joona. Or sometimes someone else. But usually Joona.

He let his slick lips and tongue slide wetly over his throat. Heard him gasp an "Oh, fuck --" and felt him cling, digging his fingers into Anssi's shoulders.

For a brief second, Anssi wondered if Joona was just humouring him. But then his hips jerked up against him and –


No, there were some ways to fake enthusiasm, but what was pressing against his thigh wasn't one of them.

He brought his mouth up to Joona's lips again. Then, carefully, he let one hand move down, sliding along his thighs. It wasn't the steadiest touch – his hands were shaking a little – but it was firm and decisive, or so he thought.

When he broke the kiss, he stayed close, tilting his head a little so that no matter what Joona said in response, he would hear it. "You said that we can go as far as I want." Anssi tried to sound confident, but his voice came out as a gasp. At least, that was how it sounded to him. "Did you mean that?"

No reply, not at first, not for one second, not for two – but then the words came laughing to his ear. "Yeah, of course. Anything you want."


Anssi breathed, and it was partly from relief, partly from joy.

He kissed him again. Let the fingers of the hand cupping Joona's hair coil and grip at him. And the other hand –

He let it slide down, down, down, then up again, taking in the shape of him, the texture of denim beneath his fingertips. Joona made a soft noise against his lips, muffled but insistent.

It wasn't that Anssi wanted to tease him. It was that he wanted to savour what they had, to take a moment to appreciate the way it felt to touch him exactly like this.

Only for a moment. And a moment was enough. After that, his hand left him, and he shifted to –

To –

Joona rocked upward, pressed against his palm, and that took care of that. If there were any doubts – and it was true, Anssi still had some – they were gone now. He traced the shape of him long enough to get a feel of his erection through the fabric. Just long enough to make Joona moan against his mouth. Then he swept his fingers upward, trailed them until he could undo the button. Pull down the zipper. Slip his hand inside.

It didn't go as smoothly as it always had in his dreams, in his fantasies. In his imagination, he didn't fumble, didn't struggle at all. His hands weren't clumsy, not like they were now. But that didn't matter. It only took a moment to get his clothing open, to slip his hand inside, past the band of his underwear.

And then –

He slid his fingers along Joona's cock. Slowly. But not too slowly. It was so hard not to rush. He coiled his fingers around it, stroked the length of it until he could thumb along the head, brush at the moisture there.

Anssi felt him gasp, and then gasped himself as Joona bit down on his lower lip. He could feel the heat in his cheeks, and in Joona's as well, more flushed with every second.

In the end, all he could do was cradle Joona's head with one hand, and stroke him off with the other, and try to shift his weight so that he wouldn't crush him. It wasn't comfortable, not in the least, but it was worth it for the sensation of Joona thrusting against his palm. Moaning against his mouth. Digging his fingers into Anssi's shoulders. The way Joona shuddered and gasped and cursed as he came.

They stayed close for a moment after that. Anssi broke from his lips, and pressed his face to Joona's neck instead.

He slid his hands out of his pants and shifted to let Joona button them back up. Slowly, Anssi breathed, trying to calm down. He ached, but he didn't know if he should do anything about it, didn't know if he could ask for anything. In fact, he could hardly believe what had just happened; it was so –

"Hey." A whisper by his ear. Damp lips over his cheek.

"What...?" The words came out more hesitant than he wanted them to. Anssi wondered if he should be worried.

Joona didn't reply. Not in words, at least. Instead, he gently pushed at Anssi, moved to nudge him over.

Oh no, Anssi thought, imagining the worst – but instead of pushing him away, as soon as he was out from underneath, Joona pressed him down onto his back, and kissed him again.

"We're not done here," Joona said when the kiss broke again. His voice was breathy. There was a smile in it. He sounded low and husky and Anssi could feel himself flush all over again.

"We aren't?" The words slipped out of his mouth and he sounded so stupid. But Joona's hands were at his waistband, and they were working fast, like someone who really knew what he was doing. And his mouth drifted down, down, down....

His hands cupped Joona's head carefully. Sank into his hair. For a second he felt the urge to wrap the strands around his fingers, grip his head and shove him down. But only a second.

He didn't need to wait very long, anyway. Joona got his pants open in a matter of seconds. And then –

Anssi propped himself up a bit to watch. Joona glanced up at him and grinned; his cheeks were flushed, and Anssi could feel himself blushing even deeper at the sight of that. It was one thing to imagine it, and it was another thing entirely to see Joona between his sprawled legs, his mussed hair dangling in his face, long fingers freeing Anssi's erection from his clothing.

He brushed Joona's hair out of his eyes, tucking the strands back. In response, Joona gave a little huff of thanks – and then dipped his head down.

Anssi felt his insides tighten. He closed his eyes for a moment, sucking in a quick breath.

Joona's mouth was warm and wet and soft, and Anssi wondered if he had done this before, but right now didn't seem like a good time to ask.

It didn't seem like a good time to say anything at all.

Anssi cracked his eyes open and watched him. Joona didn't seem to be in a rush. He dipped his head slowly, slowly, letting his kiss-bitten lips slide. Deeper. Lower. Then back again, until only the slick, wet tip brushed his lips.

Then again.

Anssi felt lightheaded. His dreams had never been half as amazing as this, and it was impossible to linger on every sight and sensation, no matter how he tried to take it all in. The slick wet heat of Joona's mouth. The way it felt to have Joona down between his legs, one hand coiled around Anssi's cock, the other braced on Anssi's thigh, keeping himself steady and keeping him open at the same time. The heaviness of his breath, the thick huff as he took more in, dipped his head deeper. The wet sounds his lips and tongue made. The sensation of his long hair wrapped around Anssi's thick fingers.

He kept watching him until he couldn't anymore, until he had to shut his eyes because if he didn't, he wouldn't last any longer. Until his breath was too quick, his cheeks too hot, and finally he came into Joona's mouth with a soft gasp.

In the end, he let go of Joona's hair and let himself fall back onto the ground, resting back on their old picnic blanket and staring up at the sky. The stars were bright pinpoints of light against the darkness.

There was a shifting noise as Joona sat up and moved away from him. Anssi reached down and did his trousers back up, his ears burning. He felt warm and heady, almost tipsy.

That was when Joona came into his field of vision. He didn't say anything, just dipped his head and brushed a kiss to Anssi's cheek.

Carefully, Anssi tilted his head and kissed his mouth. He felt Joona draw in a surprised breath against his lips. But neither of them drew away. Not until after a moment, a long moment, and the kiss lingered, and Joona's hair fell loose like a curtain around them.

It was a while before they sat up. When they did, they stared into the fire, sitting close together, closer than they had at the start of the evening. Once again, they passed the flask between them. Once again, they looked up at the sky. But the shooting stars they had come out to watch weren't anywhere in sight any more.

Joona prodded the fire, sending a few sparks floating upward. "Looks like we missed most of the meteor shower," he said. But there was a lightness in his voice, and a smile on his lips. He didn't seem to mind.

"Mmm." As Joona settled back again, leaning into him, Anssi let out a satisfied little sigh. He took a drink from the flask, felt it on his tongue. Handed it back and smiled. "There'll be another time," he said.

"Yeah," Joona said. He laughed. "Of course there'll be." By the way he said it, it was clear he meant it.

Those words, Anssi decided, were the best thing he had ever heard.

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September 2017

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