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Dew in the grass [Lalli/Niko]
Title: Dew in the grass
Fandom: Stand Still, Stay Silent
Characters/Pairing: Lalli/Niko
Rating: 10+ ish
Length: 800 words
Summary: Their meetings are quick, infrequent, and holding on to them will only make things difficult.
Other: Precanon. Deals with a few things that I'll hopefully explore at a later date.
Fills prompt #11, "Memory".
Dew in the grass
"I need to go."
The words were disappointed, apologetic. So was the look in his eyes. Lalli shrugged and let the feeling roll off his shoulders. There was nothing either of them could do about it. "Okay," he said.
"I'm sorry, I -"
"Stop it."
There was nothing else to say to that, either. The words came out sharply, but Niko reached out for his hand anyway, grasping it tight. Tilting his head, he grazed a kiss over Lalli's cheek, then against his lips, pressing and lingering, drawing it out as much as he could.
They'd had this conversation before. And they'd done this before. Talked it over before Niko faded from his dream, disappearing to wherever it was that he lived in the waking world. By now, he understood what Lalli meant when he said that. Apologies wouldn't change anything, so it didn't matter.
Don't apologize.
After he was gone, Lalli sat a while in his area and listened to the sound of his mind, the breeze rustling the trees, the water rippling over stones. He glanced down at the grass beside him, took in the way it still had an impression from where Niko had been sitting. Where their gloves had rested together, tossed down after they'd both taken them off so that they could touch skin to skin, there was only one pair, not two. Only Lalli's were left.
Inhale. Exhale.
He looked out across the swamp and rested his head on his hands.
It was still a while before he'd wake. And it was annoying that he was left by himself after that. After the kiss. After the time they spent together.
It wasn't fair.
It was weird that he felt that way at all.
Lalli closed his eyes. Thought about it. He remembered the way that Niko had come into his life; the danger outside, the commotion that caught his attention and caused him to open up and step out of his dream. They chased off the shadows together, and at the end of it all, Lalli pulled that stranger into his mind, not because he wanted to, but because it was safe, and there wasn't anywhere else for him to go.
Wide eyes on that broad face, staring out at him from that mop of brown hair. Thanks spilling out of his mouth. He remembered how he sat there nearby, watching Lalli carefully, curious. How he talked, but only to ask Lalli a few questions. Simple things, like his name. His own, the stranger said, was Niko. That was all. The danger had taken too much out of both of them.
It was better that way.
The weird mage returned a week after that, a short figure in blue and red tapping at the edge of his dream. Against his better judgment, Lalli let him in again, curious about him, wanting to see him again, and not understanding why on earth he felt that way.
Maybe because Niko's magic was weird. Different. Maybe because he was weird. But not in a bad way.
That was how it started.
He never asked him to come back. But Niko always did come back, after a while, eventually. Weeks might pass before he did. Weeks, or a month. Once it was a lot longer than that, and Lalli had begun to think he wouldn't see him again, had started to put him out of his mind. Started forgetting. But one day, there Niko was again, like before, appearing unannounced and unasked.
Lalli always let him in.
He listened to him talk about the courier routes, of the network in the northern outposts that delivered messages through dreams when radio lines had to be kept open and travel was too dangerous to risk.
That was what brought him to Keuruu. That was what brought him to the edge of Lalli's dream, coming there in a rush after the messages from Kajaani were delivered, always trying to make time, and never making enough of it. The touches, the kisses, the way their bodies fit together. None of it was ever enough. Neither of them knew when would be the next time, when would be the last time.
Lalli drew in a deep breath. Even though Niko had left him, the feeling of him clung to Lalli's dream like dew in the grass on a cold morning. He closed his eyes, waited, thought, and tried to catch hold of him. Evergreen. Wildflowers. Honey. Polished wood. He bit at his lip and tried to grasp the sensation of teeth on his mouth.
It wasn't easy.
It doesn't matter, Lalli told himself. You'll wake up soon. You'll have to go to work soon. So, you shouldn't think about it.
There's no point in clinging to something that you can't hold on to.
Fandom: Stand Still, Stay Silent
Characters/Pairing: Lalli/Niko
Rating: 10+ ish
Length: 800 words
Summary: Their meetings are quick, infrequent, and holding on to them will only make things difficult.
Other: Precanon. Deals with a few things that I'll hopefully explore at a later date.
Fills prompt #11, "Memory".
Dew in the grass
"I need to go."
The words were disappointed, apologetic. So was the look in his eyes. Lalli shrugged and let the feeling roll off his shoulders. There was nothing either of them could do about it. "Okay," he said.
"I'm sorry, I -"
"Stop it."
There was nothing else to say to that, either. The words came out sharply, but Niko reached out for his hand anyway, grasping it tight. Tilting his head, he grazed a kiss over Lalli's cheek, then against his lips, pressing and lingering, drawing it out as much as he could.
They'd had this conversation before. And they'd done this before. Talked it over before Niko faded from his dream, disappearing to wherever it was that he lived in the waking world. By now, he understood what Lalli meant when he said that. Apologies wouldn't change anything, so it didn't matter.
Don't apologize.
After he was gone, Lalli sat a while in his area and listened to the sound of his mind, the breeze rustling the trees, the water rippling over stones. He glanced down at the grass beside him, took in the way it still had an impression from where Niko had been sitting. Where their gloves had rested together, tossed down after they'd both taken them off so that they could touch skin to skin, there was only one pair, not two. Only Lalli's were left.
Inhale. Exhale.
He looked out across the swamp and rested his head on his hands.
It was still a while before he'd wake. And it was annoying that he was left by himself after that. After the kiss. After the time they spent together.
It wasn't fair.
It was weird that he felt that way at all.
Lalli closed his eyes. Thought about it. He remembered the way that Niko had come into his life; the danger outside, the commotion that caught his attention and caused him to open up and step out of his dream. They chased off the shadows together, and at the end of it all, Lalli pulled that stranger into his mind, not because he wanted to, but because it was safe, and there wasn't anywhere else for him to go.
Wide eyes on that broad face, staring out at him from that mop of brown hair. Thanks spilling out of his mouth. He remembered how he sat there nearby, watching Lalli carefully, curious. How he talked, but only to ask Lalli a few questions. Simple things, like his name. His own, the stranger said, was Niko. That was all. The danger had taken too much out of both of them.
It was better that way.
The weird mage returned a week after that, a short figure in blue and red tapping at the edge of his dream. Against his better judgment, Lalli let him in again, curious about him, wanting to see him again, and not understanding why on earth he felt that way.
Maybe because Niko's magic was weird. Different. Maybe because he was weird. But not in a bad way.
That was how it started.
He never asked him to come back. But Niko always did come back, after a while, eventually. Weeks might pass before he did. Weeks, or a month. Once it was a lot longer than that, and Lalli had begun to think he wouldn't see him again, had started to put him out of his mind. Started forgetting. But one day, there Niko was again, like before, appearing unannounced and unasked.
Lalli always let him in.
He listened to him talk about the courier routes, of the network in the northern outposts that delivered messages through dreams when radio lines had to be kept open and travel was too dangerous to risk.
That was what brought him to Keuruu. That was what brought him to the edge of Lalli's dream, coming there in a rush after the messages from Kajaani were delivered, always trying to make time, and never making enough of it. The touches, the kisses, the way their bodies fit together. None of it was ever enough. Neither of them knew when would be the next time, when would be the last time.
Lalli drew in a deep breath. Even though Niko had left him, the feeling of him clung to Lalli's dream like dew in the grass on a cold morning. He closed his eyes, waited, thought, and tried to catch hold of him. Evergreen. Wildflowers. Honey. Polished wood. He bit at his lip and tried to grasp the sensation of teeth on his mouth.
It wasn't easy.
It doesn't matter, Lalli told himself. You'll wake up soon. You'll have to go to work soon. So, you shouldn't think about it.
There's no point in clinging to something that you can't hold on to.